Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Official plea for help!


Alright people, this is my official call for help/advice. I am drowning here. Katie is really hard to handle lately. Not all the time, but with specific subjects.?. Her biggest issue is Beckham. She is constantly bothering him. She grabs him and holds on to him, won't let him get away and she pushes him over if he is standing up. She gets in his face and yells at him so he will cry. I know she's just doing it to see his reaction because she does the same thing with Sami. Sami however, can defend herself or ignore Katie. I've tried time-outs and even a spank here and there. ( i know I'm horrible!) How do you guys do your time-outs (or beatings) I am just wondering if anyone else had a kid combo like this, and what they tried or if anyone has suggestions. I've already tried selling her on craigslist but no takers...
So to relieve a little stress I looked for a potentially embarassing photo of her! This is Katie at about 8 months. She is bathing in Tim and Becca's awesome sink!

10 comments:

Sheri said...

It's so hard because each kid is different and requires a different set of tactics. Most of the time when Max acts like that it's to get my attention. I put him in time-out and ignore him. Then afterwards I have him apologize to the kid he offended. If he keeps doing it he has to go on his bed. I know that's probably stuff you already knew, but the thing that really works is if I ignore him for however long he's in time-out. Then he isn't getting any attention. Does that make sense?

Chad~Nicole said...

My kids are perfect. I don't know what your problem is. :) Seriously, I use time out, but when Canon is worse than usual I send him to his room, make him sit on his bed, and shut the door. That way he gets zero attention. When I go get him to come out I ask him to tell me why he got in trouble in the first place (to remind him of what not to do) and then he apologizes.

Becca said...

Well I am not expert here at all!, but I think Sheri and Nicole are right on the mark with the attention issue. When Katie does something you don't like - tell her you don't like it and then ignore her, but make sure she gets tons of attention when she is doing good things. When she gangs up on Beckham, I would ignore her, pick him up and give him all the attention - that might be motivating. I love that sink!

Heidi said...

How the heck are ya!!! I am so glad you found me. I have been looking for you for awhile. I would always check Tricia Lambsons blog to see if she had a link to you.

Ummm.... my Caden is pretty brutal with Carter too. Marc has to remind me that they are syblings and it will probably get worse as they get older. I do time out too and sometimes it works for a few hours but then he is back to bugging Carter again.

Cam said...

You're so funny, I'm glad I'm not the only one that beats my child. :) Kevin and I read a really good book called, "1-2-3 Magic" and it had some great ideas in it on discipline and they're really easy ones. Does that mean we've applied them? No. But we keep meaning to! I feel like our lives will be so much easier once we start, maybe we can do it together. :) It was a super fast, and easy read.

Brittany said...

Everyone is on the right track but I think you have to remember that she's 2 and it comes with the age. Ben was really bad for awhile but has since backed off a little bit. Keep doing what you're doing so she knows it's not ok, but other than that, she'll just grow out of it.

Terra said...

Paul went through this horrible sibling rivalry stage. I was at a loss for awhile. I knew he was just doing it to get attention and then he would get attention since I couldn't ignore him hurting his brother--vicious cycle. I got this "Land of Obey" chart. when he did something good he could move his little train and earn prizes along the way. At first I made a big deal about it to get him excited. I never used it as a threat (if you do this you can move your train...) I just kept it all positive. His behavior really improved and it helped me get into a better pattern of talking to him. Good luck!

Lindsey Vance Parry said...

I think that she is suffering from middle child syndrome, i don't know i only have one, but i was asking my mom that since I'm having two in one shot if that means i won't have that middle child problem, ha ha, anyway i think you're doing everything you can and it's the age and she'll grow out of it, so stay strong and then you'll get a breather and then beckham will go through it :)

Megan Lofgran said...

Ahhh cute shy Katie. What shall you do, what shall you do. I love it when they act out like that, as if the life of a single-married-Opt-student-spouse-mom isn't hard enough. As a 3rd party looking in, I wonder if she needs a bit of one on one attention? Its gotta be tough being the middle one. And moving, finals, a baby and all the other crazy things in our lives that turn there little worlds upside down. They can't articulate so that don't know how else to express how there feeling. When I was over the other day, I wondered the same with the goofy behavior she was having. Totally normal! Your kids are great and you are such an attentive sweet mom! You'll figure it out!

TammyJane said...

OK Shell,
I know this is belated but I don't get around to reading these that often. Anyway....If she's hurting someone, she gets a spank. If she's just stirring things up a little, time out is good (time out is sitting or standing in a corner facing a wall doing nothing)--but you need to let your kids learn to work out some of this on their own. I am thinking of Sammi mostly. She needs to learn to stand up for herself. So maybe letting them work it out will help her. You shouldn't feel like you always have to get in the middle of it. Give Katie some mom time. Try on some nights to let her stay up for an extra few minutes and spend some time with just her--reading an extra story or something. (not a bad idea with each of the kids) Take just her to the store with you, go on a walk around the block with her, simple things but still she will have you all to herself for a few minutes. And realize this is just kids' stuff. It comes with the territory. As far as them growing out of it---maybe--but don't get your hopes up. How old were you and Matt when I couldn't even let you be in the same room together?????